If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My pussy is not your playground.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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