you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
