just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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