I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
