i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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