Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
