He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize