Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
