hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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