Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
