I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize