i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
