Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
