my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
