Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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