What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
