So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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