508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
