They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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