erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
