Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize