well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
