He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
