She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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