Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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