just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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