Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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