a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
