Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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