I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
