Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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