Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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