I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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