he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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