don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
