You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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