Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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