I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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