walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize