Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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