I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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