Where is the hickey?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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