so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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