So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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