where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
