Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
