my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize