You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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