he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this boner is exhausting
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
