how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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