she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
