but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
