I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
