I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize