he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
