I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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