So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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