he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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