if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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