you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
