erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
