Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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