i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
